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THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS IN 2020: OPINION PIECE

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Written By September Sky (she/her) for The Rising Womxn Zine 

Over the past two years I had fallen into deep depression, I had a lot of anxious days, and took care of my partner who was also dealing with depression. It became very apparent that even the basic things were becoming difficult for me and I started to really let myself go, not only that but 2020 has been a strange year for us all and it was a challenge in of itself.

According to The World Health organisation more than 264 million people throughout the globe suffer from depression, and over half of these people identify as women. As one of them I would like to touch on my personal journey over this past year and how I overcame the hardest days.

It started small, I started letting my sleeping routine go, getting up late going to sleep in the early hours of the morning. After this I started to let my appearance go, I stopped wearing makeup, stopped doing my hair, Skipped the occasional shower, didn’t bother picking out an outfit, in fact most of the time I’d just stay in my pyjamas. During the darkest time I didn’t answer my phone and I didn’t call family and friends, I hid away and didn’t want anyone to know what kind of mental state I was in because I was ashamed, embarrassed and didn’t want anyone to worry.

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There came a point when I realised just how low I had gotten, that it was time to take control over myself and my life. First things first be aware that this was a journey of twelve months and so the most important step is to have patience with yourself. I did not beat myself up if habits did not stick the first time.  

The first habit in my happiness journey was picking up a journal. I started to journal everything, from how I was feeling in the moment, to the person I wanted to become, quotes that I found inspiring, a bucket list, wish list, my ideal morning, my ideal day, potential future jobs etc… This really helped! During bad mental health days, it can be so easy to forget that we have dreams in our heart somewhere, and to feel completely hopeless about the future! I know that the biggest change for me was that I no longer knew what I found enjoyable, I did not really…care! Journaling helped me discover parts of myself again and helped me create a new, stronger version of myself.

 

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The second habit that helped me over come the dark days was to implement a face care routine. To some people this may sound unimportant or rather insignificant but for me this was especially important. It was not necessarily about my face it was about taking a step everyday to take care of my body. I think one of the most important things to work on is how we value ourselves and our worth. Having a face care routine actively showed me that I was worth the care, but not only that It also (obviously) made a physical noticeable different to my appearance which gives you that little boost of confidence you need during this time. Other example of showing yourself value would include buying yourself that perfume, moisturising, or even just showering!

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The third habit which greatly impacted my mental health was trying to be more active. Now, please remember to have patience with yourself this does not mean that you should throw yourself into a 7-day workout programme and strict health diet. I started by walking outside at least once a day (the difference to my mental state was instantly noticeable!), I then upped this to the occasional home workout video, stretching, and eventually into 6 days a week, and running every day. You do not need to get as enthusiastic about fitness as I did but being more active is going to make such a difference to your life. During my workouts, I started to feel invincible, happy and confident. As a woman we can often feel intimidated at the gym or in shorts or at the beach (or in many situations)  and we shouldn’t feel this way! Therefore, confidence is a great feeling to build up and it is one of the first things to fall during the bad times, or at least it was for me!

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You may want to include other self-care habits into your day-to-day life, and I found it easiest to implement by tracking my habits in my journal. For example, if I decided that I wanted to go for a walk everyday I would draw 31 small boxes for each day of the month and for each day I walked I would tick it off. This allows you to see that you are progressing and allows you to have more confidence in your ability to take care of yourself. Even if you only walked 5 days out of the 7 days and only for 2 minutes that is okay because progress is progress.

 

Lastly, I would like to make a point that one year later after starting to take care of myself, I have built up a few simple every-day habits to make sure I do not start slipping again, for me building these routines have been vital to my progress. My anxiety and depression appear every now and again, but they are so much easier to deal with now that I have built trust and strength within myself. I stick to a strict sleeping regime because I know that without it, I can feel overwhelmed and stressed. My morning and night routine are simple but carefully designed to allow me to take care of my mental and physical health because without those two things nothing else matters. During these two routines I like to rota in meditation, exercise, reading, a healthy breakfast, water, face care, showers, and journaling and I have found that all these habits hold importance in my life today.

 

@September Sky


Just remember that whatever you are going through you are not alone, that things do get easier and you must be patient and kind with yourself.


You can find out more about September Sky @tembersky on Instagram, and she also has a youtube channel with a large focus on mental health and fitness. 

  


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