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| @The Rising Woman |
Written by Georgia Stainforth (she/her) for The Rising Womxn Zine
Something I've experienced fairly regularly. Something that makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe. Something that highlights how misogynistic society is. Street harassment. A form of harassment that consists of unwanted comments, gestures, honking, wolf-whistling, catcalling, persistent sexual advances etc. by strangers in public areas. I wanted to talk about it to highlight how widely experienced it is by women. This experience is not limited to women, however, this article focuses on the impact street harassment has on women specifically. I am not writing this blog post to talk about just my experience. This post is built up of multiple women's experiences of street harassment, their opinions on it and how it makes them feel. The first experience is from myself, all those that follow are from women who have chosen to contribute, some have chosen to remain anonymous.
"Once I got off the bus from campus to walk back home. I was wearing trackie bottoms and a baggy jumper, with a lot of makeup on as I'd just done a photoshoot. I walked passed two young boys, who looked about 15. I can't remember what they said, but there were a lot of demeaning and sexual comments. I told them to leave me alone but they carried on and started following me. I turned round and told them to f*** off and at that point they got defensive, claiming it was a compliment. Thankfully my friend lived nearby so I went to their house so I could get away. It's happened on multiple other occasions and mostly I've tried to ignore it. My most hated comment is "smile, you'd look even better if you smiled", I find that so patronising. My natural expression just happens to be naturally not smiley. Some men and boys have often been very persistent. It's made me feel unsafe in a place that I call home. It's like men think that's how you should treat a woman, but really it's just a normalised form of harassment." - Georgia, 22
"Walking to work I'd get whistled at and shouted at a lot. It made me angry more than anything, men just disrespecting me and looking at me like a piece of meat with no regards for my feelings or knowing nothing about me. I think it's disgusting, whether it's a joke or not, it's definitely a sexist thing. I've never once in my life seen a female whistle or shout at a guy or anyone. I think it definitely makes other girls feel very uncomfortable." - Jess, 22
"There's no real punishment for men making us feel like pieces of meat. Men should be taught about all of this from a much younger age." - Amber, 24
"A few years ago I was walking to the local shop in shorts and a shirt, it was the middle of summer. A group of 5 shirtless lads began catcalling me saying "show us your arse darling, come over here and let me feel your tit". I made a face at them, too intimidated to say anything. I carried on walking and they followed me in and then out the shop, they began backing me into a wall and saying like "you're a f****** slag, you want it cos your arse is out." They only backed off when another customer left the shop, I quickly began walking home, however, they followed me and hurled abuse till I reached my front door. I do not understand how men feel entitled and justified to treat a human like that. What do they think will be the consequence? They treated me like a piece of meat so I'll be grateful and sleep with them. It makes me feel dehumanised and guilty, like I've done something bad and that my body is shameful even though I'm just walking, minding my own business. Plus the irony was they had less clothes on than me because they were topless." - Dasha, 22
"My biggest experience is usually walking the dog because I tend to do it in leggings and walk down a busy road which is frequently used by lads from the army base. I hate it so much I now wear a jumper tied round my waist when walking that way because that tends to lower the chances of it happening. It only ever happens to me when I'm dressed a certain way. If I am in town I always tend to get less catcalled the more goth I look." - Ellie, 22
"I remember in first year of uni I was catcalled/stopped by a group of like 5 boys after polo. I was filthy and sweaty and just looked gross, they walked by me, whistled and said something, I can't remember what. I kept walking and they kept shouting after me and I turned around and was like "I'm literally covered in horse shit, just f*** off" and then they shut up and went on their way. But it really surprised me because they got close to me like it wasn't from a car or across the road, they literally walked right past me." - Izzie, 22
"I think every woman hears it, I used to work in a supermarket on a Saturday and a Sunday. On a Sunday I would wear make-up and on a Saturday I didn't. I walked into work one Sunday and my boss catcalled me, saying "you look better this morning". He did not last long there. These men seem to think we exist for their enjoyment." - Jess, 23
"Unfortunately, there are many times I have been catcalled or someone has wolf whistled at me. but as something so common, you tend to forget the majority of them. There is however, one that happened a few years ago that I always use as reference. I would've been in my third year of uni and I was walking to the gym. It was autumn so I was wearing leggings and a jacket, I feel I have to mention this as so many women get the "well you shouldn't be wearing that skimpy outfit then" excuse. I walked through the gym car park and a young man was standing by his car, no one else was around. He looked me up and down as I walked past him and said "Oi, I'd f*** you". I'm pretty sure I just ignored him. But it just makes me wonder, who benefited from that experience? He wasn't showing off to his friends, it was just me and him. Was he expecting me to turn around and go "oi, go on then, on the backseat of the car". To be honest, I'll never know what makes people objectify others in that way." - Mel, 24
"I had an experience the other day, me and my friend were both in shorts. We had to go down this little dirt track to access the field and there were 2/3 boys there. I instantly felt uncomfortable with the way they were looking at us and then they started whistling and making comments so we picked up the pace as it was unnerving and made us self-conscious." - Anonymous
"It’s got to the point where I won’t leave the house without headphones, because it’s the easiest way to zone out catcalling. It’s rarely just one person in the car/van, usually 3 or 4, which adds to the intimidation. I was getting harassed so often on the tube that I started having panic attacks. I’ve had men follow me off the tube after telling them I wasn’t interested (which I tested by getting off the tube and then back on the same one). I was also told that I should be flattered they’re interested in me. I’ve been walking home and received so much unwanted attention from builders that a security guard offered to walk with me the rest of the way past them so I wasn’t dealing with it by myself. During lockdown I’ve been running outside instead of in the gym, but I stopped because of the catcalling. The majority of it was men beeping or making gestures, but there was one occasion where a car of teenagers pulled up and asked me to “give him a blozza behind the skip”. Some of the other things that have been shouted at me: “alright darlin'"; “nice legs, what time do they open?”; “fancy a shag”; “look at the rack on that one”; “show some more skin”. If I ignore them I get called either a stuck up/frigid/rich bitch, and then start getting a different type of attention from them. Until I get away from them I’m then harassed being asked why I think I’m too good for them, and that I should take this as a compliment. During university when I would go on nights out, I started wearing a band on my ring finger as a sign that they shouldn’t even bother, but instead I was told on multiple occasions that “your husband doesn’t need to know.” - Caitlin, 26
"The experience that really sticks out when I was on year 10 work experience week. I had to walk there on a really hot day. I was wearing a maxi skirt and a top, and in the half hour there and back I was beeped at, whistled at, etc. about 20 times. It was quite scary as I was walking by myself, and think I was only about 14/15 at the time, so found it very bizarre. I just don't see the point, it makes everyone feel uncomfortable and it's not like the person who does it gets anything out of it." - Katie, 22
"I'm not sure I have anything to add that'll be different to anyone else's experiences but I suppose that in itself says quite a lot. There's an absolute abundance of incidents I could recount but they all merge into one general experience of 'normal female life'." - Vicki, 21
"I've had the generic "hey babe, come home with me/nice ass" etc. I've found that it happens when guys are in their car as well so you can't really respond. I think it's something guys do just to show off and act "laddish" in front of their mates because they probably know it's not going to get them anywhere making sexual remarks from their cars. I guess it can kind of make you feel objectified and grossed out if they say explicit stuff. Also quite powerless if they're doing it from the safety of their car as you can't respond." - Anonymous
"I think my worst experience was when a guy told me to smile and don't look so grumpy when I was on the way to the nail salon, so I put my middle finger up at him. He proceeded to follow me in and started screaming about how I was a b****. Another time I was coming home from a night out and this guy was like "get home safe darling". So I thought wow, what a nice man. And then behind me I heard him say to his friend "she's asking for it looking like that, literally wearing nothing", or words to that effect." - Ciara, 22
"I actually can't recall a time when I've been out running and haven't had someone say something, especially during this heat as I'm usually in shorts and a sports bra. Usual things are beeping and shouting out the window. Latest ones have been "Cor look at your legs" and "would love to touch your arse". Recently, I passed a building site, I felt like someone was staring at me, I could feel their gaze, and then one guy shouted "hey love, can I get your number", I ignored and tried to walk on, then the man climbed down from the scaffolding and badgered me to talk to him. I made very clear I wasn't interested, but he kept saying things like "I would like to see what's under that dress". He wouldn't leave me alone as I tried to walk around him he kept stepping back into my way. I'm not good at confrontation at all so I didn't know how to react, it wasn't until lots of people started walking down the street that I just joined them and he couldn't stop me." - Maddie, 21
"Usually I'm with a group of people if it ever happens so I feel safe. I do remember one time last year I was walking back from the bus stop and on my road there are a couple of pubs that mainly the locals go to. It was a summery day so I was wearing leggings and a crop top. I passed one of the pubs where three middle-aged men were standing. The sidewalk is pretty narrow so it's hard to avoid them without crossing the road and as soon as I approached them I could feel their eyes on me. It's only once I passed that they made some comment about my body but loud enough so I heard them. That was the most uncomfortable I've felt walking home in the broad daylight even. There's something about a group of men making comments about a woman, clearly younger than them that's truly unsettling. I shouldn't have to prepare myself to run home because I feel unsafe around grown men." - Casey, 22
"One time I remember most is when I was running about 3 years ago. It was a group of young boys, could only have been 13/14. I knew it was going to happen because groups always do it, it's like they're trying to show off. Sure enough they started yelling, I just shouted f*** off. But it really sticks out because of how young they were. Another time, I was walking to a restaurant - about a 5 minute walk. A man started following me. I kept stopping in shops to try and shake him off but he followed me everywhere. When I got to the restaurant he walked past and gave me such a creepy look, it really freaked me out. Generally, most of my experiences have been "normal". It's happened countless times. I think catcalling comes from a place of power. They feel they're superior, therefore have the right to make us feel small. They know it's not a "compliment". If they intended it that way they would approach us differently and respectfully. They do it because they feel they can objectify us and it doesn't matter." - Anonymous
"There's a road in my town, which runs along the seafront. I've never walked down it and not been catcalled. It's an area with cinemas, schools and a McDonalds, so there are a lot of young people around. Boys/men in cars drive up and down and scream things at girls, in particular when you're on your own to try scare you. I've even been egged down there. They normally yell slag or sexual stuff, but its the fact you're on your own being screamed at by a bunch of older men. It's frustrating as well that you instinctively get scared and can't say anything back." - Anna, 20
"It happens so often, it's ridiculous. I'm not sure what they think they're going to achieve from it. I remember specifically when I moved to my current area and I was walking to the shop during the day, a guy started shouting as he drove past me on the other side of the road. I ignored him and kept walking, then he's turned around and on my side, he slowed down his car so it's right next to me and repeatedly trying to get my attention. I said I wasn't interested, then he tried to convince me to get in the car. I kept saying no and he followed me until I started running to the shop. I asked the shopkeeper to check where he had gone. I felt genuinely scared, when I first moved here I'd walk to the shops in the dark without a second thought but after that I was even worried in the day." - Charley, 22
These are all real experiences from women I know and have reached out to to contribute. All of them have experienced catcalling and street harassment in some shape or form. Whether they've touched on personal experiences or simply talked about how it's made them feel - these are real. I think this just goes to show how common an experience catcalling is. The fact that a few have referred to the experience as "normal" for women. It shouldn't be normal, but they're completely right because it is. Sadly, it is something I and a lot of women have become accustomed to. The preparation when approaching a group of men or boys to accept it will happen or turn the opposite way to avoid it. Not every man and every boy we walk by will catcall us, the majority are respectful men, it is however built on a threat from the minority of men that do. It brings us to question our own safety in the places that we live and should feel safe in.
It's enlightening how so many of the women I spoke to felt the need to highlight what they were wearing or if they had make-up on. It just goes to show how ingrained victim blaming culture is, she was wearing X piece of clothing out so she must have been asking for it. NO! She had her legs out because it's sunny and she wants to be cool. She has her legs out because she's dressed up for a night out. She has leggings on because they're comfy. She has a sports bra on to run comfortably for her physical and mental health. She has makeup on because she chooses to wear makeup. Nothing about the way a woman chooses to dress is "asking for it". No one ever said that because a woman has a bit of flesh showing you have to follow her down the street and sexualise every part of her body. Or whistle and beep from your car. Or shout obscenities from across the road. If you are looking to charm or flatter a woman, this is far from the way to do it.
Catcalling and street harassment go hand-in-hand with a rape culture. Rape culture is an environment in which rape is pervasive and normalised due to societal attitudes towards gender and sexuality. It is a culture that demands sexual submission. As such, public comments like "smile hun, you have a lovely smile" or "look at the arse on her" become flattering and acceptable. When people respond to say that they're not interested or simply tell the harasser to leave them alone, they are mostly met with angered, defensive responses and often even more harassment as they haven't been subservient to the sexual proposition.
This is undoubtedly tied to matters of consent. My clothes, my make-up, my hair, my face, and my body do not determine my consent. Let women walk safely down the street; stop sexualising their appearance and how they dress; learn about consent. If I ask you to leave me alone, then I expect you to do just that. If I carry on walking, then shut up, I am choosing not to hear you. If I have my legs out, then I have chosen to wear that for myself. If I do not have a smile on my face, then maybe I do not want to smile. If I am just walking down the street, leave me to do just that.
You can find more from Georgia here: https://georgiasdiary.wixsite.com/blog
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